Saturday, February 28, 2009

Lent II

by Anne Peterson

Mark (8:31–38)



Then Jesus began to teach the disciples that the Chosen One must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and looking at his disciples, Jesus rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Chosen One will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of God with the holy angels.”



Reflection

Not too long after my lovely spouse and I had met, in the middle of a lovely dinner together, he told me that if I ever became debilitated, he would take care of me. I suppose I could have replied, “How sweet and thoughtful of you. I appreciate your deep commitment to me.” But I was upset and burst out, “Why on earth are you ruining this beautiful moment with such a negative, pessimistic idea!”

As one who has never been interested in anticipating future disasters, I totally understand Peter’s distress when Jesus tells his friends that he is going to suffer, be rejected and then killed. Everything’s going so well. Don’t mess up the party which this negative thinking, Jesus! Jesus’ response is strong—“Get behind me, Satan!” But Jesus has the long view, sees the big picture. And Peter is trying to hang onto the way things are in his world as it is right now. Peter’s denial could also be seen as lack of empathy for Jesus as he articulates the challenges that are ahead for him.

It’s not just my personality type that refuses to entertain negative ideas. We see now that various individuals questioned investment guru Bernie Madoff’s perfect track record of investing people’s money with never a loss to report. Others questioned the lending practices of banks bundling bad loans with good ones, of realtors putting families in homes they could not afford, and the general practice of so many individuals living beyond their means. Only now that the bubble has burst do we hear the voices who warned us of what lay ahead.

Peter is not willing to entertain the fact that his beloved friend and mentor Jesus might lose his life—let alone the fact that he himself might die. Hanging on to self preservation above all else is limiting. It is a protective stance, holding out against the fear of potential loss. People who have faced the possibility of death because of a life-threatening accident or disease frequently describe their “new life” as one released from the fear of death. Their appreciation of the world is sweeter, and their desire to do what they have always wanted to do, stronger.

As we read in last week’s gospel for Lent I, Jesus underwent this journey toward a “new life.” In his baptism, he was commissioned for a new focus for this life—and was affirmed in his very being as deeply loved by God. In the wilderness, he wrestled with the temptations we all live with, and emerged stronger and clearer about what only he could do in the world. Jesus moved beyond fear, which made him free to do what he needed to do in the world.

Into this freedom Jesus invites the crowd. “Deny yourself, take up your own cross, and follow me,” he says. If your goal in life is to hang onto your life and its material possessions, then you are not able to live freely, to do great things without fear. Release your ego, come with me, and find your true self in the true life of freedom that awaits you.

Two years ago, having been hit by a car while crossing the street, I was helplessly happy to take my husband up on his offer to care for me. In my dependent state, removed from all prior responsibilities, I had plenty of time to reassess my life. And although my “new life” is sweeter and more focused, I find myself slipping back into that preoccupation with things and tasks that distract me from feeling that I am beloved by God and realizing the true freedom this affords. My goal for my Lenten journey is to reconnect with this freedom in silence, every day, before anything else.

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During the Week

--What is your biggest fear? Ask God to help you deal with it.

--What would you do differently if you were not afraid of anything?

--Imagine a time in your life when you felt deeply loved, affirmed and fully alive. Sit with that feeling, soaking it into the core of your being. Spend a few minutes with the feelings of this memory to before you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning.

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